Remarkable Beer Quotes from the World’s Greatest Minds (Frothy Philosophies)

“Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings. “

• Marilyn Monroe

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

• Frank Sinatra

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

• Benjamin Franklin

“Beer, if drunk with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health”

• Thomas Jefferson

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”

• Abraham Lincoln

“So when the devil says to you, ‘Do not drink,’ answer him: ‘I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.’ One must always do what Satan forbids.”

• Martin Luther

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”

• Plato

“Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale.”

• Rafael Sabatini

“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the lord has intended a more divine form of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to His bounty by learning about beer.”

• Friar Tuck, Robin Hood

“Humankind was built on beer. From the world’s first writing to its first laws, in rituals social, religious, and political, civilization is soaked in beer.”

• William Bostwick

“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.”

• David Rains Wallace

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”

• Kaiser Wilhelm

“He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. Amen.”

• Unknown monk

“Let no man thirst for good beer.”

• Sam Adams

“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.”

• Frederick the Great

“On victory, you deserve beer, in defeat, you need it.”

• Napoleon

“Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.”

• Don Marquis

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”

• Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

“There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.”

• Samuel Johnson

“We could not now take time for further search or consideration: our victuals being much spent, especially our beer.”

• Mayflower logbook entry dated December 16, 1620

“We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.”

• Epicurus

“…there is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.”

• Peter Richmond

“[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer.”

• Sophocles’ philosophy of a moderate diet

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”

• H.L. Mencken

“A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion.”

• Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture

“A little bit of beer is divine medicine.”

• Paracelsus, Greek physician

“A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience – except that it is soluble in alcohol.”

• Thomas Blackburn

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”

• W.C. Fields

“After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether.”

• Anonymous

“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.”

• Homer Simpson

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

• Ernest Hemmingway

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

• Winston Churchill

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”

• For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.”

• Confucius

“Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.”

• Fritz Maytag

“Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.”

• Unknown

“Beer he drank – seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shown.”

• from the Epic of Gilgamesh, 3000 B.C.

“Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment”

• Dr. Benjamin Rush

“Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.”

• Billy Carter

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”

• Henry Lawson

“Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.”

• Wiley

“Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer – it has always been thus.”

• Peter Richmond

“Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.”

• Bruce Carlton

“Beer will get you through time of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer.”

• Freddie Freak

“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.”

• Jack Nicholson

“Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.”

• Whitstran Brewery sign

“Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.”

• Harold Rudolph

“Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.”

• Steve Allen

“Everybody has to believe in something…..I believe I’ll have another drink.”

• W.C. Fields

“Give my people plenty of beer, good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them”

• Queen Victoria

“God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?”

• Restroom in The Irish Times, Washington DC

“I drink to make other people interesting.”

• George Jean Nathan

“I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion”

• Miguel De Cervantes

“I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night”

• Benjamin Franklin

“I have respect for beer.”

• Russell Crowe

“I never met a pub I didn’t like.”

• Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete’s Brewing Company

“I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably.”

• Amanda Peet

“I think this would be a good time for a beer.”

• Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I told the stewardess liquor for three.” – “Who are the other two? – “Oh, there are no other two.”

• Unknown

“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.”

• Joe E. Lewis

“I work until beer o’clock.”

• Stephen King

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.”

• Shakespeare, King Henry V

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”

• Homer Simpson

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

• Tom Waits

“I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.”

• Mads Mikkelsen

“I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer.”

• Johnny Damon, on the secret of his success

“I’m going to buy a boat… do a little traveling, and I’m going to be drinking beer!”

• John Welsh, Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the New York lottery

“I’m not so think as you drunk I am !”

• John Squire

“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.”

• David Daye

“If love makes the world go around, then whisky makes it go around twice as fast!”

• Compton Mackenzie

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”

• Deep Thought, Jack Handy

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. “

• George Burns

“It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer”

• Ernest Hemingway

“It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. “

• Shirley MacLaine

“Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow”

• Cicero

“Let’s get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini…”

• Mae West

“Make sure that the beer – four pints a week – goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.”

• Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944

“May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.”

• Old Irish Blessing

“May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”

• Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Most people hate the taste of beer – to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.”

• Winston Churchill

“My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”

• Tallulah Bankhead

“No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.”

• John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

• Dave Barry

“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.”

• Homer Simpson

“People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.”

• Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

“Sir, you’re drunk!” Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

• Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’”

• Jack Handy

“Stay with the beer. Beer is continuous blood. A continuous lover.”

• Charles Bukowski

“The beer was so flat it could have been poured from an envelope.”

• Prince of Wales

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

• Humphrey Bogart

“The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.”

• Law of Augsburg, 13th Century

“There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.”

• Billy Carter

“They who drink beer will think beer.”

• Washington Irving

“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer!”

• Friar Tuck

“To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!”

• Dave Howell

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”

• W.C. Fields

“When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.”

• Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

• Henny Youngman

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”

• Brian O’Rourke

“Whiskey’s too tough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer.”

• Tom T. Hall

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine.”

• David Moulton

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

• Dave Barry

“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”

• Oscar Wilde

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” ??

“You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey – the sacred incense of the drinking man.”

• Bruce Aidells

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

• Dean Martin